i want a guitar now!!!!!!!!! can anyone out there get me a guitar!!!…i wanna play a song..play hard and sing out loud to release everything!!!!!! and kick away those stupid tense that screw me up….i want my guitar!!!!!!! i need you….
Archive for September, 2007
17
Sep
i want my guitar!!!!!!
Hu~~~~Finally….finally that paper has passed!!!!!!!!!!!
ya,my computer studies paper just over today!! the paper that almost everyone is frightened of…the paper that has made most of us(**i think majority**) couldn’t sleep well…some even never got to bed and sleep…studied overnight..non-stop!!!!!! Gosh~~~what the hell is going on???????is this really the so called "UNIVERSITY" life??? is the life with "BOOKS" and without "SLEEP" only considered the life of a uni student??!! I just can’t make sense with it!!!
Yesterday…and it’s the very first day…i drink coffee to make myself awake so that i wouldnt fall asleep when i was revising….it’s because i was really curious of the so called "coffee power" that can make us alert all the time… ya…now i’ve know the truth now…
ya, the coffee……is really a coffee….It made me just couldnt fall to sleep even i was damn tired!!! what the heck!!! before this, whenever i see my comfortable bed in my room,i just can’t get away from it…i will lying deadly and rolling on it..BUT YESTERDAY..when i wanted to step forward and approached myself to the bed… i didn’t know why my body wasn’t under the control of my processor(**is my brain actually—>my mind is bursting with computer studies now**)….i was feeling like somebody is trying to stop me!! why har??
okay, just forget bout the coffee…the next day, in the very early of "LOVELY" morning(*erm…not very early also la..around 8.30am ma*), i got up and went to school…there i met my friends in the library and continued the "WAR" !! and here came the problem…i was wondering why’s everyone out there doesn’t believe on me that i didn’t study as much as what they thought…and why they always thought that i know everything as i’m better than a GOD??!! but, i tell you la…i’m still like a frog that never get out from her shell…!! and that’s why i didn’t expound to them so much because as a chinese quote "jie shi shi yan shi"…..since i know that it will only turn up as different denotations…i try to snubbing what people judged on me and what they nagged about me…but you know what…i can show you the smile and take it as a joke..but it doesn’t mean that i will not deem about it and i will bare it deeply in my mind!!! that’s because i learn to ponder over any comment or judgement especially the negative comment by others and take it as a guideliness to improve myself to be better and better…!!you can say that i’m too pessimistic or anything else..i just dont care!!!
nevertheless, dont think that i can accept everything…
i just can’t….
13
Sep
I MISS YOU…….
i miss my buddies in ns camp so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my bosom friends….xiaohui(**MY TWINS**),xinyen,sooting,rongrong,kaixin,meihui,
choiteng,siewling,meijia….
i reallly miss my buddies so much!! they’re really meant everything for me..my mind keep on recalling back the life in KEM DESARU!!
i still remember…
the moment i got to see the words "TAHNIAH! Anda telah terpilih untuk meyertai PLKN…." felt like wanna punched and kicked savagely that fellow that chose me!(*is computer actually*)..but what can i do??paying "rasuah" ??or just take out my white underwear and swing up there and said, "okay!i’ll just go!!" ???
ya,i’ll just go!! b’cz of the stupid fellow said that there’s no any excuse unless you have a medic letter from the what high high post de doctor la..what the heck!!
The first two weeks were very hard for me!! and others too,probably!! you know what….almost everyone there(i mean girls la)was crying during the first 2 weeks…some even till a month…not because of falling apart with their family…..is because of depart from their BOYFRIENDS!!(eh~what’s goin on?ape yg nak dinangis-nangis tu!!)…my friends always said that i’m very strong and stalwart because everyone there was crying except me!!!(**this does’t mean that i dont love my family,k??!!it’s because i’ve promised him not to cry there and i know i can do it!!!**)
and then…i started my journey there…and began my brand new life there!! everything was new for me..new bed..new pillow…new room..new toilet…new uniform…new spike boots..new "high heels"(**really painful lar wearing that kind of aunty heels**) new friends…new trainers…and new atmosphere…
the greatest thing is NEW FRIENDS!!! =)
and there i met my TWINS!!!
sure many people out there are curious bout us,right??
but you know what…you can’t doubt our relationship!! she’s really my twins..but twins with dissimilar look..!! =P
you wont know until i tell you what’s really going on…
although we’re from different uterus..different company..and different family…our soul and spirit are commom and it’s better than other twins else..
we have same hobbies…same attitude…same thoughts…same way of thinking…same feelings…same opinion….and even same colour tshirts when we wore in the camp(**accidentally wore the same,not intentionally*)
i miss my twins..my friends…i miss our pillow talk..our laughter…i miss everything that we had been doing together…
I REALLY MISS YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and people out there!!!!!!!
friends that you being with for a very long time doesnt mean that they’re really your true friends!! For me, although i got to know my friends not more than a year…yet we can be as good as anyone else…because the time we spent together is more than that…
DON’T DOUBT BOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP!!!!!
THANK YOU, MY GOD FOR GIVING ME SUCH PRECIOUS THINGS IN MY LIFE AND MAKING MY LIFE TO BE SUCH MEANINGFUL WITH THEM!!!
13
Sep
aiksss….exams sucks!!!
today…today is like nothing goes right…
everything seemed to be different from those kind of day..ya,definitely it’s not a good deal..
My english paper just passed today!!! hu~~what a damn hard paper(but why’s my friend said that the paper is damn easy??!!)
i don’t know why my brain was like cramping when the paper was in front of me today!(*i guess i was too tense??!!*) and the damn stupid cold air-cond kept on blowing on me and made me like going to freeze up even i was sitting at the last roll with my sweater on!!can you imagine that your hand is like freezing and you’re holding a pen on your hand…and….you just can’t WRITE!!! what the hell……..
aikkss…my english paper…i can’t imagine the results i’ll get…… and i didn’t know why my mind was like empty,blank and stucked!! every single vocabulary words in my mind just like disapeared by its own(***why my memory is volatile??!!can anyone change my memory to non-volatile type,please??***i’m going mad..)
but why…..no one could believe me when i said the paper is very hard for me???!! and why everyone’s is using my pass year exam results and keep on assessing me?? people always said, "yo…1119 can get A2..your english sure no problem de ma!"…
but i can tell you that my english is not that well…and i don’t know what the hell is going on that i can get an A2 in my 1119..i just can’t believe that…but the matter is..can you guys please trust me when i say my english is poor…
ya,i know that…i know my english is poor and that’s why i keep on learning new words or phrases everyday
(**I LovE mY diCtiOnarY!**)..
i need an encouragement from you guys..and not that kind of "suan1"..k??
lastly…**GOD BLESS ME PLEASE!!!**
03
Sep
i hate………………
i don’t know why i’m sitting here in front of my laptop and letting my book opening up there…I just can’t focus my mind to study now..and my final exam is coming very soon..and i keep on thinking the moment i sitting in the exam hall and looking at the stupid exam papers with lots of "QUESTION MARKS" around my head..that sucking moment really terrified me…sure people out there who read this feel like wanna push me and bang me to the wall and say "It’s just an examination..why are you putting it so heavy enough like its going to intimidate you!! "
but you know what…YOU JUST CAN"T UNDERSTAND ME!!!
i HATE books…especially TEXT BOOKS(text book=book with lots of text..buT guess what.. i just can’t get away from magazines)…but why i’m still buying a heap of TEXTBOOKS…and watching them lying dead on my bookshelves??
i HATE study…but why is everyone out there doesn’t believe me on that ?? is that really meant that a person who got an excellent results in her exams and doing very well in her studies do really love study?????
NO!you’re wrong man..!!
i admit i’m KIA SU!! but it’s not like that kind of damn KIA SU fellow that keep on asking people around "have you study??how much have you scored??"
I study because i want to survive..survive in current KIA SU society..i study so i can earn lots of $$ in my future life(yea i love $$) and be a successful person( *boss is better than manager*)..i study because it’s what my parents wish to..
whenever i’m thinking of giving up on my studies..i’ll thinking of my parents!!!i just can’t do that..i can’t let them down as they putting so much hope on me( *cz i love my parents*)..that’s why i rather letting the pressure squishing me and screw me up than seeing a desperating look on their face..!!
but am i doing the right way??
i guess so…
the MOMENT just keep on recall back..
—my dad’s friend’s daughter scored very very well in her SPM ( straight As if i’m not mistaken )..he told my mum bout it..ya, he didn’t mean so but i could know that there’s much more than hundred thousands wish that the one who scored such excellent results was his daughter…From that day onwards..i kept on reminding ( is compelling actually ) myself..I needed to work harder and harder..and let everyone else to jealous of my parents..!!
but how could i endure with this damn sucks life??that’s now what i want!! ya, no choices..just hiding myself under the pillow and cry out loud!! (**one of the best cure for reducing tense**)
I finally got my SPM results then…just couldn’t believe myself can scored such well( for me la!)..i phoned my mum..my dad..and you just can’t imagine the happiness that could looked through from them…You know what…it’s been a long time i didn’t see my dad smiling till the mouth is like gooing to cramp..even his friend noticed bout it,too.
yea, that’s what i want!! that’s the reason i keep on dealing with my burden..and that’s why i’m still here with my "LOVELY books"…
i’m not sure whether i’m doing the right things now but i can ensure you that this is definitely RIGHT choice in my future…
and……hey!! i’m not a bookworm,k??!! i study last minutes..and i’m wondering why the midnight oil is damn good to burn..hehe!! but it’s aint a good thing,okay?? try to burn the daily oil..( aduhai~~)
Recent Comments